Who the fuck are you motherfucker?
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HEY, I'M MARTHA BUT THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IS?
BACON. I LOVE ANIME, READING, YAOI, MOVIES, AND COMIC BOOKS. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A GAY MAN TRAPPED IN A WOMANS BODY. WHY CAN'T I BE A BEAUTIFUL GAY MALE ANIME CHARACTER WITH A SIZABLE SCHLONG?
Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Me:
Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*

bussykiller:

wishingonadandylion:

"Because that’s where she lives."

I lost it.

ANGRY PIPER IS MY FAVORITE

le-baiser-de-la-mort:

myheartbeatsforhummus:

This post is eveeeeeeeerything

THIS. HOLY SHIT. THIS. 

rocker310:

stylishirish:

horain:

stylishirish:

this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back 

that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil.

it was a mechanical pencil 

You may proceed

shouldnt:

Oops, sorry mom

shouldnt:

Oops, sorry mom

brasspistol:

every time I see this it gets reblogged

420snorlax:

i’m gonna start using this line

plasticbagvevo:

"Free Wi-Fi!"

image

"Please ask a staff member for details."

image

callerina:

No one told this otter he was a cat.

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